


Better Off this Way

by Carmenlire



Series: Tumblr Prompts [11]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Immortal Husbands, M/M, POV Outsider, Parabatai Bond, References to Depression, Sad Alec, Supportive Jace Wayland, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 04:04:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15428610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmenlire/pseuds/Carmenlire
Summary: “He’s different with you.”Magnus turns around, stares at Jace impassively. “What?”Jace clears his throat. “It’s probably pretty obvious but he’s different with you. You’ve changed him.”Magnus looks confused. “Sorry?”Smiling, Jace shakes his head. "Alec was sad and bitter and lonely and now he’s-- now he’s not. He’s confident and devoted and it’s because of you. I never said it, but thank you, Magnus. Thank you for saving him.”An outside look at Alec through the years.





	Better Off this Way

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by thattrainssailed: Outside POV that explores Alec's evolution from sad boi to confident, gay man.

His brother is sad.

He’s laughing and every time he looks at Max he smiles but– it’s not real.

Max knows it’s not real.

It’s not real because he stops as soon as he thinks Max isn’t looking at him– he’s faking it.

His big brother is the best shadowhunter in the world. Max knows this as a fact.

His big brother is big and strong and brave and really, really cool. Also a fact.

His big brother loves brownies and the color blue. _Duh_.

But all Max can think as him and Alec walk through the streets of New York is that it’s like there’s a cloud hanging over his head. He’s dressed entirely in black with the sunglasses to match.

His shoulders are slumped. He looks tired.

He’s only five, but Max is much smarter than most people give him credit for. It helps that as the youngest Lightwood, he’s given a little more leeway, a little more freedom.

He’s learned young that sometimes it’s more fun to blend in and observe than actively participate.

That’s how he noticed his dad sneaking into their house in Idris early one morning, reeking of perfume that didn’t smell anything like his mom’s.

It’s how he knows that his mom cries herself to sleep some nights.

It’s how he can tell that Alec doesn’t really mean it when he smiles, or laughs, or jokes around.

Alec is holding his hand as they walk down the street and Max licks his ice cream as he swings their hands back and forth.

He looks up and sees his brother’s face. Alec doesn’t know that he’s being watched and he’s frowning.

“Hey, Alec?”

Alec looks down at him and smiles. “Hey, buddy. What’s up?”

“Are you mad?”

Alec looks surprised. “No. Why would I be mad? It’s a beautiful day and we’re eating ice cream. It doesn’t get much better than that.”

Huh. If he’s not mad there’s only one other thing it could be. “Are you sad, then?”

Alec laughs a little, pulls on their connecting hands until Max bumps gently into his side. He puts a hand on his shoulder and Max leans into him, feeling happy and safe at being so close to his brother.

“Of course not, little man. It’s impossible for anyone to be sad when they’re with you.” He shakes Max a little, swaying them both side to side as they continue walking. “Why?”

Shrugging the shoulder under Alec’s hand, Max keeps his eyes forward, watching as an exceptionally fluffy dog walks his way.

“Your smiles aren’t real.”

Alec freezes for a split second before he continues walking in step with him. He clears his throat, slides his sunglasses down until his piercing gaze meets Max’s.

“Of course they are. I smile when you smile and I laugh when you laugh. It’s how humans work, kid. It would be weird if I was constantly walking around smiling like a goof.”

Max thinks about what Alec’s said for a minute. It does make sense. Max always thinks that people who smile _too_ much are a little strange.

“Do you have a girlfriend,” he asks, mind switching to things that could make his brother smile. Izzy is always in a good mood when she talks about boys, so Alec will definitely be happy talking about girls.

But, for some reason, Alec scowls. He takes an angry lick of his own cone– rocky road– and simply mutters, “No.”

Max is intrigued. Alec is fifteen and it seems like older kids are always talking about gross things like love and _kissing_. His brother should be the same.

“Why not,” he asks, ever precocious.

Alec is silent for a few minutes. Max gives him time. He knows that sometimes Alec needs to collect his thoughts. It’s nice, though. Izzy talks a mile a minute when she gets excited and Jace always says the first thing that comes to mind. But Alec, he takes his time and orders his thoughts– he doesn’t treat Max like a dumb kid but he also words things so that he can always understand what he’s trying to say.

It makes Max feel like an adult, important, and he thinks that if he ever needed to talk about anything serious that he would go to his big brother.

He knows Alec will always listen to him.

Eventually, Alec starts talking and he tries to follow, but Max is a little confused at all of the rambling.

“Sometimes, Max, there are things that are considered normal or expected. Everyone has a plan for your life, even complete strangers who don’t know anything about you, and it’s like there’s this imaginary check box that you have to be constantly ticking off.” He looks down at Max. “Especially because we’re Lightwoods, buddy, we’re gonna be expected to do a little more, be a little more perfect.

“Sometimes that pressure is good because it gives you incentive– a reason– to work harder and be better.”

Alec pauses before clearing his throat.

“But sometimes it just plain sucks. You wanna know why I don’t have a girlfriend? Because I don’t want to check things off that list just because life says I have to, not yet anyway. I don’t want a girlfriend.”

He looks down at Max and asks, “Can I trust you with a secret, buddy?”

Enthusiastically, Max nods. Alec is trusting him with something big!

“I won’t ever want a girlfriend. We’re shadowhunters and that means some things are a given. We’ll fight demons and follow the Clave and pretend we don’t know what mundane culture is–” they share a look, both remembering marathoning pokemon last weekend, “– and most people will get married and have kids.

“But that life isn’t for me. I’m a soldier Max, and someday you will be, too, but that doesn’t mean we’re robots.”

Max is listening intently, trying to follow whatever Alec is trying to tell him, but he’s a little confused. He knows he’s not a robot. Robots don’t get sick when they eat too much cake.

Max perks up when Alec glances at him.

“You can be whatever you want, Max. You’re a shadowhunter but you’re also my brother and I want you to know that I’ll support you no matter what. Okay, buddy?”

Max nods, though he doesn’t really understand what Alec just said.

They continue on their way. Summer in New York is unforgiving and Max starts dragging his feet after a few minutes. It was a rare day off and Alec had decided to take them to the park. They’d already been, Alec pushing Max on the swings and buying them ice cream.

They’d sat on the grass for a little while, people watching. Max had laughed as a dog had come sniffing over to them, surprised that Alec had been so enthusiastic, petting it and using this weird voice when he talked to it, like he was talking to a _baby_.

Now, as the sun starts to wane over the city, Max feels tired. He just wants to go to bed. Alec looks down at him and he returns the look with his signature puppy eyes.

He rolls his eyes, but Alec still crouches down, nods to his back. “Hop on, buddy.”

Not wasting a minute, Max scrabbles onto Alec’s back and wraps his arms around his neck. Alec stands back up and Max grins as he looks down. His brother is so tall!

Alec walks and Max thinks they might be close to the Institute.

“Hey, Alec?”

“Yeah, buddy?”

“Do you like being a shadowhunter?”

Max can’t see his face, but it sounds like Alec is frowning when he answers. “It doesn’t matter, Max. I’m a shadowhunter. I’m a Lightwood. This is my life and it doesn’t make sense to question it. It’s just how things are.”

That doesn’t really answer Max’s question but his brother already seems sad enough.

Max doesn’t want to make it worse so he doesn’t ask anymore questions.

He doesn’t see too much of Alec for the rest of the summer. He goes back to the Academy a week later and Max goes back to Alicante with his mom.

The next time he sees Alec– and the time after that and the time after _that_ until he loses track– Alec doesn’t laugh.

His smiles are smaller.

His shoulders hunch more.

He’s still the best big brother, the best shadowhunter in the world Max knows without a doubt, but it’s like the cloud has turned into a hurricane.

Max wishes he could fix his brother but he doesn’t know what’s wrong.

In a few years, when he’s in the Mumbai Institute and hears from the trainer that the eldest Lightwood is engaged to someone– Branwell?– it feels _wrong_.

He doesn’t know why, doesn’t remember the conversation from so long ago, but Max can’t help but think that it doesn’t make sense for Alec to have a fiance, for him to be marrying someone, anyone.

When Max thinks of his brother, he thinks of thunderstorms and masks. He thinks of fury and ice.

It doesn’t make sense, won’t for ages, but Alec’s always been a brooding tempest, desperate and angry and filled with yearning.

Max loves his brother but he doesn’t understand him.

He doesn’t think anyone does. That anyone can.

 

Laying in bed, Jace sighs and scrubs his hands over his face. Turning his head, he looks at the neon numbers, the only spot of light in his room.

3:57 a.m.

Jace sighs again, loudly. He forgives himself for being a little dramatic, considering it is the middle of the night.

In the next minute, he’s throwing the covers off. He stands up, jaw cracking as he viciously yawns.

He doesn’t linger to put something on over his boxers, stopping only to grab his stele. He knows he’ll need it in a few minutes. 

He has a parabatai to find.

They’ve done this what seems like a thousand times. Jace knows he has his own issues but goddamn sometimes he wonders if Alec’s aren’t a little worse.

But then, he prefers to fuck or fight his way through the pain. Alec just likes to simmer and turn that hurt into something tangible, something physical.

It’s how Jace knows to head directly to the training room, following the thudding bass and vicious guitar runs that can be heard even though the door is closed.

Jace stops before opening the door and alerting Alec to his presence.

Just for a minute-- he doesn’t like the way his rune feels and he doesn’t want to wait too much longer to help in the only way he can.

Still, it’s so rare to see Alec completely unguarded and Jace can’t help but watch him. His parabatai, his brother, his best friend, the man whose soul is intertwined with his. 

Even to him, Alec is an enigma. Oh, Jace knows that Alec’s tragic habit of self-flagellation isn’t just because of Maryse Lightwood's abysmal maternal instincts.

Jace figures he’s the only one who knows just how deep Alec’s self hatred burns-- and why.

He’s never mentioned it, he won’t ever because he can just imagine that fallout, but he’s been aware of Alec’s preferences for a few years now.

As Jace watches his brother through the glass, he sees a warrior. He sees perfect form and lean muscle and a sort of vicious determination to conquer all. He’s hitting the punching bag with single-minded focus, jabbing and swinging and pounding the bag with enough force that Jace feels his own bones rattle under the impact.

As a shadowhunter, there’s no one better.

But he also sees the trembling arms and glassy eyes and the imperceptible bow of his shoulders that’s more emotional than physical. He’s like Atlas, carrying the weight of the world, shackles dragging behind him. His chest is heaving, sweat pouring down, grimacing in both pain and visceral pleasure.

As a man, he’s a little broken.

Alec never shirks his duties but Jace is well aware that it takes a toll, that every fucking day that Alec gets up and puts on his mask and goes through his routine, he’s dying on the inside.

A symbolic death, a suffocating one that’s snuffing out his very soul.

Jace knows that he likes to embrace the dude bro stereotype. Fuck knows that he has a lot of baggage and it’s easier if people think he’s a little dumb and a lot slacking than to deal with the whispers and derision.

But, he’s also fiercely loyal and protective and sometimes it’s all he can do not to shake Alec until his ears ring.

But he knows he can’t fix this. There isn’t even anything _to_ fix and that’s what makes him a little crazy and a lot desperate to heal Alec.

At this rate, there’s no way this doesn’t end in tragedy for them both.

When Alec steps back, Jace straightens, opens the door.

The music is an angry wall of sound and he shouts over it, “Will you turn that goddamn emo shit off?”

Alec doesn’t flinch, he just looks up, unsurprised. He doesn’t say anything but he heads over to the stereo and slides the volume down until Jace can just make out the rumble of drums.

Alec smiles, just a little. “It’s not emo shit. It’s one of the biggest bands in the world.”

Jace waves that away, muttering, “Yeah, My Chemical Romance is all sunshine and kittens.”

Alec’s smile widens a little at the fact that Jace knows the band but he doesn’t say anything.

There’s a moment of silence before Jace is stepping forward with a sigh. He takes Alec’s hands, turns them over. Inside, he screams a little in frustration and sheer worry. His parabatai bond throbs, Alec’s anger and self-loathing and desperation lapping into his essence as the gentlest wave, not overwhelming but impossible to ignore all the same.

He can’t pretend that he doesn’t feel the echo of satisfaction that’s no doubt lighting Alec up as he looks down, too.

Jace doesn’t say anything, just brings his stele up and draws an iratze. Alec’s hands, open cuts bleeding and knuckles bruised almost beyond recognition, start mending back together.

He pretends he doesn’t see the disappointment in Alec’s eyes.

The two of them are silent as Jace continues holding his hands, as they both stare at the disappearing remains of Alec’s emotions.

After a while, Jace asks softly, afraid to break the quiet, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Alec shakes his head, staying mute.

“Do you want to be alone?”

There’s a pause before Alec shakes his head again, still silent.

“Do you know that I love you and that I think you’re the best brother and parabatai Raziel could have given me?”

Jace waits for the words to sink in and focuses on their joined hands, letting Alec have a modicum of privacy.

Jace half expects Alec to shake his head again but he doesn’t. In fact, he doesn’t do anything. He just stands there like a statue, still and impenetrable.

“Do you know that will never change, no matter what? I’m not going anywhere, buddy. I’ll always be here to heal your hands and tell you to turn your shit music off. There’s nothing that could make me think less of you.”

He pulls Alec in for a hug, ignoring the wet laugh that sounds in his ear. He hugs Alec tightly, squeezing, like he can force Alec to accept his love and promise.

The two of them stay in the training room until the dawn light starts to peak through the stained glass windows. They sit against the wall in silence, sides touching. They both need the contact.

Jace worries. Alec’s numb.

Their parabatai rune pulses with calm relief, hiding the lingering turmoil.

 

Simon’s not afraid to admit it. Alec scares the shit out of him.

Alec’s glare is terrifying. The way he can just look at someone and make their insides shrivel up is kind of awesome but also, like, really intimidating. He doesn’t mince words and sometimes Simon thinks that Alec is joking, but he just can’t be sure.

But what’s even worse is the way that he does a total 180 and lights up like the fucking Rockefeller Christmas Tree whenever Magnus is so much as mentioned.

It’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde where it’s Alec’s total adoration for his boyfriend versus his total intolerance for literally anyone else.

It’s cute. Simon is a self-proclaimed romantic and there’s something fitting about Alec Lightwood, stern Head of the Institute and shadowhunter extraordinaire turning into such a fucking sap when he sees his boyfriend.

Simon’s hanging out in the Institute’s courtyard waiting for Clary and Isabelle to meet him for a late lunch, when Alec walks in, Magnus just behind him.

Suddenly grateful for choosing a spot mostly hidden by a huge fucking fern, Simon slouches in his seat a little, trying to remain inconspicuous.

He’s never really hung out with Alec, or talked to him much, but he’s always thought he was interesting. The chance to spy on the power couple of New York is too good to turn down.

Alec strolls into the courtyard, gesturing broadly. “As you can see, Mr. Bane, the spring blossoms are really taking off.”

Magnus follows him, glancing around with a thoughtful expression. “Ah, yes, I do see why you wanted to show me the gardens, Mr. Lightwood. These flowers, here--” he says, nodding down at a perfectly nondescript purple plant, “-- they do seem to be coming in nicely.”

Alec turns around so that he’s facing Magnus and both of them just stare at each other for a minute before Alec breaks off, laughing. He closes the distance between them and wraps his arms around Magnus’s waist.

“I didn’t know you were such a flower aficionado,” he murmurs.

Magnus winds his arms around Alec’s neck and leans in. Simon thanks his vampire hearing for being able to hear every word.

“You do know I love beautiful things, pretty boy.”

Alec blushes and Simon’s internally swooning. They’re such a cute couple, a pair that shouldn’t work but just do and it’s cool to see a relationship that seems pretty damn perfect.

But in the next second, they're kissing, fiercely, and Alec hums and grabs Magnus’s ass and Simon winces.

Suddenly, he realizes the downside to not making his presence known.

It’s like a trainwreck though and Simon can’t help but watch as Magnus starts walking them forward, still kissing, obviously heading to the nearest wall.

Oh, shit.

Simon is just debating how to make a discrete and timely exit when Alec trips over a flower pot and both of them go sprawling, Magnus landing on top of his boyfriend with a quiet _oof_.

Eyes wide, Simon waits for Alec to get annoyed or flustered or defensive but he just relaxes against the ground. Magnus settles on top of him, looks down with an incredulous expression.

“Really darling?”

Alec just shrugs, a little awkward since he’s horizontal. “What do you expect? I was too busy kissing you to watch where I was going. Really, this is your fault.”

“My fault?”

“Yeah,” Alec whispers, gaze darting down to Magnus’s mouth. “You’re just too damn distracting.”

He’s smiling as he arches up, connecting their mouths again and this time is soft and lingering.

The sight is almost incongruous. Simon might know that Alec is totally devoted to Magnus-- he’s seen Alec lose his train of thought just from a simple text message-- but he just can’t quite shake his first impression of him, stoic and sarcastic and biting, angry at the world and so repressed it was a wonder how he got out of bed in the morning.

Overlapping his image of Alec with _this_ one, the sappy boyfriend, makes Simon’s head spin.

It’s adorable.

What’s not adorable, however, is when Magnus starts unbuttoning Alec’s shirt.

For heaven’s sake, they’re in a _garden_.

Simon is back to debating how to make a graceful, unobtrusive exit, when Clary and Isabelle walk into the room.

Izzy wolf whistles.

Magnus and Alec break apart, breathing hard.

Alec’s shirt is hanging off his shoulders, Magnus’s hair is mussed all to hell and back.

Even caught in such a position, Alec raises an imperious brow. “Yes?”

Izzy rolls her eyes and Clary stifles a laugh behind her hand. “Maybe you wouldn’t be caught _in flagrante delicto_ if you weren’t out in the open.”

Alec clears his throat, hand immediately going to Magnus’s side as he gets off him and sits up. Alec glares at his sister. “I’m Head of this Institute. I can go wherever I like.”

Izzy snorts. “Yeah, for business.” She raises her brows. “Unless you’re telling me that we caught you in the middle of a business meeting.”

Magnus smooths his hair, straightening his rumpled jacket. “Precisely, my dear. Alexander and I were just discussing. . . which plants make the best poultices.”

Simon can’t help barking out a laugh.

Everyone’s heads whip over to him and Simon shrinks back at the sudden onslaught of attention.

“When did you get here, Lewis?”

Simon waves a hand, awkwardly. “I was waiting for Izzy and Clary.” He breaks off as Alec glares at him. “Uh, I got here maybe ten minutes ago?”

Magnus laughs and pats Alec’s shoulder. “Oh dear, darling, it looks like we had an audience.”

If he could, Simon knows he would be blushing.

“Hey! It’s not like I was trying to catch the two of you. I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when you two came in here and started making out. It’s not my fault--" he points an accusing finger at the couple, "it’s yours for not making sure the room was clear before you started canoodling.”

Alec’s face is impassive for a second before he repeats, “Canoodling?”

Simon’s surprised as he starts chuckling.

Magnus and Alec lean against each other. Their eyes meet and Simon can literally feel the world disappear for them. He shares a look with Clary and Izzy and the three of them leave Magnus and Alec alone in the garden, still sitting on the ground with broken pottery around them, both sporting bright smiles.

Simon wonders. Do they know how lucky they are? Do they know how rare it is to find a love like theirs?

Simon’s infinite lifespan rolls out before him, a giant chasm. Anything is possible.

He can only hope that there’s that kind of love out there for him, sometime. Eventually.

Eternally.

 

Jace doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night anymore, parabatai rune throbbing maliciously.

Does he still worry about Alec? Sometimes. When he’s working himself into the ground, when he’s being a worrywart and won’t stop stressing.

But it’s not really his place anymore.

Jace knows that he’s not number one in Alec’s life anymore. He couldn’t be happier.

That spot is now reserved for Magnus. Oh, Alec and Jace will always be parabatai, closer than brothers, but Alec turns to Magnus first now, for everything.

A shoulder to lean on, a victim of his awful dad jokes, Magnus is Alec’s home, his place of comfort, his calm in the storm.

Alec doesn’t beat the shit out of punching bags anymore. Jace can’t remember the last time he felt the bitter tinge of self-loathing and hatred that had seemed to permeate from Alec for so many years.

Instead, there’s a quiet sense of peace, a muted joy.

Alec is happy. Alec is in love.

It’s been a lifetime since that sad, lonely boy became the confident, content man.

Alec’s lifetime.

Sometimes Jace still can’t believe it. Alec hadn’t just found himself, he’d found an everlasting love, an infinite love.

His brother was immortal. While Jace saw gray hair and wrinkles in the mirror, Alec still saw messy, dark hair and unblemished skin.

He still looked as he did the day he took his life into his hands, grabbing Magnus and kissing him for all he was worth.

Jace walks into the Institute and sees a hive of activity. There are shadowhunters running back and forth, some huddled around computers, and in the middle of it all is Alec. He’s commanding the room, each cog of a smooth machine. He looks like a king commanding his troops, powerful and invincible.

His shoulders no longer slump. He stands tall. He stands proud.

The wedding ring on his left hand gleams subtly in the light.

Jace stands in the entryway, marveling at how times change. He remembers those countless nights, healing Alec, supporting him even when words were forbidden. He remembers the despair that ate at him, the doubt and worry that Alec would survive.

Goddamn, if only he could’ve known.

Alec has been Head of the Institute for twenty seven years. He’s been Mr. Lightwood-Bane for twenty three.

Alec looks up, smiles as he sees Jace. He jerks his head and the two of them head to his office.

“Hey, man, how’s Clary and the kids?”

Jace laughs as he sits in one of the chairs. “Oh, they’re fine. Everyone’s at home baking the day away.” He throws a look over at Alec. “Izzy’s joined them.”

Alec winces. “I see why you left.”

Alec goes to his drink cart and pours two glasses of whiskey. He hands Jace one, taking the other and settling into the other chair in front of the fireplace. It’s a blustery January day and the two of them sip their drinks, the quiet wrapping around them.

Even after all these years, the silence is comfortable. They’ve never needed words.

The clock is just striking early afternoon when the two of them decide to head back to headquarters. Jace likes being in the hubbub-- it reminds him of his ever fading youth-- and Alec needs to coordinate a few teams as they return from their early shift.

He’s just finished talking to the last few shadowhunters, dismissing them, when Magnus strolls into the Institute looking comparatively dressed down in trousers and a sweater that Jace is fairly sure belongs to Alec. His coat flares out gently behind him though, giving the outfit his signature touch of elegance.

“Hello, darling.” Magnus sees him and nods. “Jace.”

Alec ducks down and kisses his husband in greeting. It’s nothing they haven’t done a million times before, but today it strikes Jace. Alec, kissing his husband, in the middle of the Institute.

How things change.

How grateful he is that they do.

His thoughts break off as Magnus pulls back.

“Do you have any more appointments for the day?”

Magnus shakes his head, “No, the other two I had scheduled for this afternoon cancelled. There’s a blizzard coming in and they didn’t want to go out in it.”

Alec looks confused. “You could have portaled to them?”

Magnus laughs.“I think they were just using it as an excuse to have a lazy day. I didn’t put up too much of a fuss-- it gave me an excuse to see you a little earlier than planned and the potions will keep for a few days.”

A recruit walks over to Alec and the two of them talk about some demon nest that will require further investigation. Alec’s focused on the conversation and seemingly without thinking, Magnus reaches over and fixes Alec’s tie. Alec doesn’t acknowledge Magnus except for a little smile.

Magnus takes a single step back but stops when Alec had reaches down and grabs his hand, absentmindedly playing with his fingers as he continues to talk with the young shadowhunter.

Magnus doesn’t say anything, just rubs his thumb along Alec’s knuckles. His conversation concludes and Alec looks at Magnus and him.

"I’ve got to go to the library and do a little research. Do either of you want to come with? I should be finished within the hour.”

Magnus shakes his head. “No, you go ahead Alexander. I’ll head home and make something for dinner. Since I’m done for the day, I might put in a little effort.”

Jace declines, too. “Nah, you go ahead. I’d better head home and make sure the kitchen’s still standing.”

Jace waits as Alec nods, kissing Magnus. “Bye, babe. I’ll be home by three. Maybe we can catch up on the latest season of that one show.”

Magnus huffs out a laugh and waves him on. “Sounds good, darling. If it’s snowing too hard, call me and I’ll portal you home.”

Alec smiles a little, his _Magnus_ smile. "Okay. I love you.”

Magnus’s eyes are soft as he returns it. “I love you, too, you big sap.”

Magnus watches Alec walk away and Jace is speaking before he realizes.

“He’s different with you.”

Magnus turns around, stares at Jace impassively. “What?”

Jace clears his throat. “It’s probably pretty obvious, especially since it’s been thirty years, but he’s different with you. You’ve changed him.”

Magnus looks confused. “Sorry?”

Smiling, Jace shakes his head. “I’m not accusing you of anything. It’s not bad, obviously-- you remember what he was like when you first met. Alec was sad and bitter and lonely and now he’s-- now he’s not. He’s confident and devoted and it’s because of you. I never said it, but thank you, Magnus. Thank you for saving him.”

Magnus’s face softens, though he shakes his head. “You shouldn't thank me. I might have been the catalyst but Alec changed on his own. He just needed to know that things could be better.”

Jace laughs, doesn’t try to hide the emotional edge. “Do you know that I used to stay up with Alec, all night sometimes, because he couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t angry or sad. He was numb. And I could feel it through our bond. So, I’d climb out of bed and I would go to his room-- or the roof or the training room or this twenty four hour coffee shop down the block-- and I’d just sit next to him. I couldn’t erase the fog, I couldn’t pierce his shield, but I’d just be there with him.

“And every night I did that was one morning that I knew he’d still be with me. I spent a lot of my younger years terrified for him. But then you came along and Alec changed and now I don’t go to bed afraid. I haven’t in quite some time.”

Magnus looks at Jace, expression unguarded.

“I would do anything for Alec, Jace. Do you know that he’s changed my life as much as I’ve changed his? It’s goes both ways, Herondale.”

The two of them are quiet for a long moment. There are no more words as they simply nod at each other before Magnus opens a portal and walks through. His clenched fist betrays his emotions.

Jace stands in the middle of the Institute, a spot of stillness in a buzzing room.

How things change.

How thankful he is that they do.

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me on tumblr @carmenlire! I'm always accepting prompts :)


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